Have you been wondering if you have experienced secondary traumatic stress or compassion fatigue as a result of caring for patients during COVID?
Have you been thinking there has to be more to life than giving everything you've got and constantly feeling stressed out, overworked, overwhelmed, and about to burn out?
Have you been wishing you could feel calm, relaxed, and stress free?
That was me when this overwhelmed nurse/caregiver walked out of the hospital and swore I'd never go back. COVID had taken a toll on my life. That's me today (the image in the pool) enjoying a stress free life.
Secondary Traumatic Stress and This Nurse/Caregiver
What I understand now that I did not recognize when I walked out of the hospital, is that I was suffering from secondary traumatic stress. Like every other nurse and caregiver, I know, caring for and losing the people I love (especially my son) during COVID was excruciating.
Secondary traumatic stress, the silent killer of nurses and caregivers, has taken its toll on nurses and caregivers worldwide as a result of the COVID pandemic. Also known as Compassion Fatigue, it's a form of distress or trauma unique to service providers like nurses, caregivers, and first responders. It's experienced indirectly by hearing details of or witnessing the aftermath of a traumatic experience by another person.
The "fear of acquiring and not surviving COVID" was a traumatic reality that challenged me, other nurses, caregivers, and family members alike. The stress of caring for patients and supporting loved ones, while preventing spread of the virus to “at risk” family members, became an almost impossible task and a moral dilemma for me and so many others. It was the perfect recipe for secondary traumatic stress, PTSD, and burnout. I should have recognized the signs and symptoms, but I ignored them.
It's so clear to me now my autopilot nurse programming developed naturally over the years. In every emergency, fight/flight hormones surged through my body, my autopilot "Nurse Brain" kicked in, and my "Code Blue" crisis programming began running my life. The 911 story that played on repeat in my mind was "You know what to do...it's your job.. save your patient."
How to Survive and Thrive After Secondary Traumatic Stress and COVID Losses
After Ryan died, I spent hours floating in the pool, riding my bike, and had countless conversations with God about the meaning of life and death and how to give what I had experienced a new meaning and purpose.
God answered. I listened.
I'm being honest with myself, and you when I tell you, there were at least five habitual behavioral patterns (that I'm famous for) that contributed to me developing secondary traumatic stress:
- Over-caring for others and under-caring for myself
- An imbalance in asking-giving-receiving help
- Ignoring my body (and advice from others) yelling "slowdown"
- Allowing my head and heart to disconnect and my "Nurse Brain" autopilot program to run my life
- Taking control verses allowing things to happen naturally
The truth is I absolutely positively know exactly what I was thinking, saying, and doing and more importantly BELIEVING when those five patterns were in play. I chose to ignore them and allowed my fear to remain in charge.
You don't know me yet... and you need to know that my usual behavioral pattern is to follow my heart...trust my gut...and connect with love and compassion NOT FEAR!
I've always believed the power to dispel fear, eliminate self-defeating habits, seize opportunity, and transform our destiny is waiting within each of us. I've spent thousands of hours coaching thousands of clients to tap into their internal resources and transform their lives and health.
I followed that same blueprint to reclaim my physical, mental, and emotional balance and thrive after secondary traumatic stress and the loss of my son.
After many soul-searching hours and conversations with God, I believe I'm now called to provide resources and support to improve the mental wellness of nurses and caregivers who are still suffering because of the pandemic.
I'm passionate about teaching others how to use the power of their subconscious mind, internal resources, and emotional resilience to create healthy habits and compassionate, caring, relationships.
If I can help you or another nurse or caregiver learn how to achieve and maintain your heart/brain connection, teach you how to rewire your "Nurse Brain" for permanent stress relief, recover from secondary traumatic stress, and reconnect with yourself, I know you can feel happy and thrive instead of just survive. I did it and I know I can help you too.
I'm committed to share my story and provide the tips, tools, strategies, and resources I used to help nurses and caregivers suffering from traumatic stress and burn-out recognize what is happening, relieve their stress and anxiety, rebuild resilience, and restore physical, mental, and emotional balance.
I'll remind you how to follow your heart, trust your gut, and choose love and compassion...not fear. It's who we are and what we do best as caregivers.
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